In the beginning of March, I was invited to Europe by the United States Cycling Federation for several road races on the European race calendar. On the schedule were two World Cups, a 5-day stage race, and a couple one day races. I was beyond excited for this opportunity. My coach, Roy Knickman, and I worked out a nice training plan so that I would be prepped and ready for a hard 3 weeks of racing. Team Jeep was also super excited for me and was very supportive in allowing me to leave for a couple weeks for some international experience.
As I flew up from South Africa to Belgium I had a massive head ache. I didn't think much of it. I thought, I must be stressed out from all the travel and tired from my training, I'll just sleep it off. I had a long 10 and a half hour flight and slept for about 9 hours of it, but my headache was still hanging around. I tried to ignore it, but it just seemed to get worse and worse as time went on. Towards the end of my flight I started to feel these tingling sensations on the top left side of my head. I thought there was a spider crawling in my hair or a bug.... but it was nothing. WEIRD! I arrived in the Brussels airport and noticed bumps on the left top of my head and a red rash starting to creep down my forehead towards my eye. This was starting to freak me out! I put on my beanie so no one could see and waited for the soigner to pick me up in the luggage area. When I arrived at the hotel I started to feel really ill. I had no energy, my head was throbbing so bad it felt like someone was hitting me in the head with a baseball bat at the rate of my pulse. I went for a bike ride with the rest of the USA girls, because Flanders, a World Cup, was in two days. I felt even worse after the ride. It was freezing when we rode, a whole whopping 2 degrees Celsius(35 F). So when we got back to the hotel rooms, I took a really hot bath and all I could do was lay there and place my head on the side of the tub. My roomie noticed I wasn't doing so good and told the Director I was not feeling well at all. He organized a hospital trip for me for the next day.
I ate little to no dinner that night, having no appetite or drive to eat any food. I felt super out of it, like I was in my own little bubble, not paying any attention or engaging in conversation at dinner. Just sitting there miserable with a throbbing head, chills down my back, and a very insecure feeling of my health. Something was seriously wrong.
I tried to sleep, but when I closed my eyes it felt like I couldn't get my brain to shut off, it was just throbbing away with a piercing blow at every thump of my heart beat. I woke up the next morning feeling like death. I walked to the bathroom to brush my teeth, I looked in the mirror and saw my left eye swollen shut. The red rash had spread all over the left side of my forehead and on the top of my head. I tried to cry, but I couldn't. I couldn't believe this was happening to me. The soigner took me to the hospital and we had to wait for about an hour. I was in so much pain I went into one of the empty rooms just so I could lay down on a bed. I found myself curling up into the fetal position. The nurses took that as an indication that I was definitely not OK to wait any longer. The nurses knew exactly what I had. They told me that what I had was a virus. It took them a while to get an english translation of what it was. They kept saying it's Zona, well in America we call it the Shingles Virus. The Shingles Virus is more common in people who are 50 or older, but it's not uncommon for someone my age or younger to get this virus. If you've had the chicken pox, the Shingles Virus is already inside you. It is dormant or asleep and it just waits for a time to strike. No one can explain why it happens, it could be stress related, or if your immune system is down. All I know, is it is very painful! They immediately started an IV drip with pain meds. They drew blood to test. I wasn't really familiar with the virus, I didn't know anything about it. All I knew is I was hurting like hell. I was finally able to let out a few tears. In the realization of knowing I have a virus, was definitely not the news I wanted to hear. I was really hoping it was an intense spider bite at that point. Having this virus meant I had to rest. Which also meant I wasn't doing Flanders the next day, or the races after that. The doctors recommended I don't do any physical activity for 10 days, then after that I can only ride indoors for a couple days before I can go ride outside. Hearing all of this at once made me break out in a sobbing cry. I had worked so hard to prepare for this trip. All the hours of intervals, 2-a-day work outs, core sessions, focusing on recovery and getting to bed early. Now it's all gone to waste. The thought that made me feel the worst was that someone else could have had this opportunity to do these races, and that I was just waisting time, money and space.
Thankfully, the coaches at USA Cycling have big hearts. They allowed me to stay in Europe and recover. After taking anti-virals and pain meds 5-times a day, putting ointment and drops in my left eye 5-times a day, and waiting for a week and a half, the doctor gave me the OK to start training again.
When I got back on my bike and rode outside for the first time in a week and a half, I was so relieved. I went for a ride with some of the Bontrager Trek U23 boys, it was still super cold, but I wasn't complaining. I was still able to do my favorite thing in the whole world.
The USA ladies team returned to Sittard, Holland and we prepped for the last 3 races on the schedule. Gelderland, Fleche Wallone(World Cup), and Borsele were the last races I had to look forward to.
Gelderland, had 6 climbs in the first 40 kilometers of a 140 kilometer course, and the last 100 kilometers were completely flat. I made it over the 6th climb just off the back of the lead group, but managed to catch back on after battling in the crosswinds with a small group. I sat at the back of the lead group for a while to recover from the effort of catching back on. I then spotted my teammate Kristin McGrath and decided to make my way up to her. I rolled up on her left side and said, "hey" and also with the intention of asking what the game plan is for the finish, but I didn't get a chance to ask. Within 2 seconds of saying, "hey" a rider on my left hooked my bars and crashed me out. I also took out Kristin in my fall and other riders went down as well. It happened so fast I didn't even get to see who did it. I was lucky I didn't break any bones, just had some deep road rash and a bruised ego. DNF.
Fleche Wallone came around just 3 days later. I was still very sore and stiff from my crash, but I wanted to make the most out of getting to race a World Cup. I tried so hard to stay at the front of this race, but I had absolutely no legs. Granted I was still on anti-viral meds, I missed out on a week and a half of training/racing, and I crashed a couple days ago, but I'm not the kind of person to make excuses for myself. I wanted to race my bike, but all I could do was hang at the back of the bunch and watch the race going on at the front. There I was again, just taking up space. Dropped on the second to last climb. DNF.
Borsele, the last hoorah! Our team sat on the line for over 30 mins before the start. But it was so worth it! We had a front row start, and it was crucial for this race too. It's a race to the first corner! We were going flat out for 5 kilometers to the first corner. It's a sharp left hand turn, almost a u-turn, and it funnels down from a 2-lane road with bike paths, to a 1 lane road. It felt like a bike path with the 140 girls that were trying to squeeze into the tiniest places. I managed to get into a really good position at the start. We had to complete 6 laps resulting in 120 kilometers of hard, flat, and windy racing. The cross-winds made the racing incredibly hard. But working with my teammates to create our own rotating pace line in the cross winds kept us up there. The whole race I was fighting for position, fighting to stay in the race. I ended up staying with the lead group, there was a break away up the road, but I was proud of myself for gritting my teeth and racing as hard as I could. Leading up to the sprint, my teammates and I formed a lead out train, though it wasn't perfect, we still tried our hardest and Lauren Hall finished 3rd in the bunch sprint. I was so happy, I finished a really brutal day of racing and gave my all at the end for my teammate. What a great way to end the trip, on a high note!
I really want to thank Jack Seehafer, USA Cycling Womens National Team Director, and the rest of the USA Cycling Staff for being so helpful while I was sick, letting me stay in Europe to recover and giving me the chance to race my bike where the racing is one of a kind. Though the start of the trip was rough, I am really glad it all turned around in the end.
Lesson learned: If you don't have your health, you don't have anything.
Thanks for reading!
-KR
